So I was invited to a wedding in Gujarat or rather more specifically in Bhavanagar. My friend Chittaranjan had an arranged marriage. This arranged marriage concept completely fascinates me just because it is so different. I have found that there is no other way to put it than simply the term marriage means something totally different here. I have different expectations about marriage and about my partner in life. It was not long ago that even in western society marriages were arranged - and they were more of unions and joining of houses or families to gain something greater for the whole. This is how it still is here. Now, western marriages are very selfish all about the 2 individuals involved rather than the family unit. Since we do not value the family unit as much, it is hard to think beyond ourselves on something such as this. Logically I can see every advantage, but I would have a really hard time emotionally allowing this to happen. I never really liked it when my mom picked out my clothing as a child (sorry mom, you know I never liked those pink skirts or any skirts really)...having her pick my husband?!?! Granted my tastes have changed over the years (yes, mom, now I like skirts) but, still....could my dad really pick a husband for me??
Anyway my friend Chitt invited me to his wedding and I was totally fascinated by the rituals and holy crap the food, the color, the music, the noise, the clothing - wow. A side note...
I got trapped in Delhi due to an airline strike so missed the 1st day of the wedding ceremony. Yes, I said 1st day. Most weddings here take place over a couple of days and each day there is something different occurring - some sort of ritual or religious event. Not all events are attended by everyone, most are for just the immediate family. So the 2 events that I am aware of for "everyone" are the the wedding ceremony and then the reception. I am still very very confused as to what is supposed to happen because across India there is no set standard. I was not the only one who had no idea what was going to happen my friends from Bengal had no clue either.
Anyway, missing out on the first night I think I missed the dancing that Indians are famous for. The second day was a little different - cuz from what I hear most wedding ceremonies take place at night. We started at 8am. There was a wedding procession where we walked through town following the band with the groom in his chariot (in this case Chitt was in a car). We stopped at one point and the women of Chitt’s house did this dance (yes I joined in awkwardly and uncoordinated, but still joined in the fun)…then walked to the banquet hall where he was welcomed and blessed by his mother-in-law…
and there was some stuff happening that I totally don’t understand and we were finally let into the building. Then some food, then some waiting..oh I got to help put on Chitt’s turban,
then the ceremony took place and it lasted about 2 hours. Lots of different little rituals and prayers being said over the couple.
Then they did a walk around the fire (but I missed this part due to an over enthusiastic aunt who didn’t want us to miss out on the food). They were bound together and then a break somewhere in there, some more rituals, some more exchanges of gifts and wow I got lost in it all.
It was extremely beautiful and I was really honored that Chitt and his wife (who I still don’t know how to spell her name so am not going to try) allowed me to be a part of their day.
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