Will someone please tell me why nice guys are so annoying?? I mean really - why do they have to be SOOOOOOOoooo nice that they are totally and completely oblivious to the fact that you aren't interested. Now, before my rant gets any further - let me state I am aware that there may be someone out there who probably felt the exact same way about me...sooo let me not speak in abstracts....
So, I have started kayaking again and this time its for white water. They have practice sessions in the pool every Wed. Good times; all equipment supplied etc. The practice sessions in the pool get you familiar with flipping your boat because you may be underwater and how to get back up without getting out of your boat. So last week I went for the first time and having virtually no clue - I am watching other people and taking advice from where I can get it. Most of the people in the pool seem to be with someone else working in pairs or what have you. Well this guy - call him Aaron (cuz thats his name) starts offering advice. So, I listen. I take his advice and ask him questions. I think nothing of it because I am so focused on learning what I can from whom ever. I am not only talking to him though, I have sort of befriended this lady who I am copying and chatting with but she has her husband as a partner... Eventually I realize Ive been "adopted" by Aaron who is now offering me his nose plug, his paddle, and even his boat. He tells me in a bragging sort of way about his job (cuz you make that kind of chit chat "what do you do?" bull) how he was a back country ranger and could hike 50miles a day with a 70lb pack blah blah and how he was in the military and is now a fire fighter. How he loves teaching children and especially high schoolers - to show the guys what its like to have a "real" job. I even meet his sister - she comes to the pool to visit. Somewhere in there I find out that he was supposed to be on a date but his date canceled. It really wasn't that bad and I left with a feeling of "hes a good chum, a bit awkward though and too eager". I honestly do not think I did anything to "bring it"...but this week. UGH!
This week, I show up and there he is, only this time he has brought an extra spray skirt just for me to try. He brought goggles and is still insisting I share his nose plug. The problem is that when he offers, I can't say no - because everyone around me is saying "OH yes, that's a good idea, you should take that". This week there was an actual instructor - well call him Paul. Paul overheard the offer of the spray skirt and just took it from Aaron and handed it to me and told me to get in boat. So, now I am wearing this guys skirt (and all I can think is this has touched his nipples) and on and off throughout the evening his goggles and his nose plug. I had brought my own nose plug, but it was crappy and kept slipping off. This guy stuck to me all night, it was like he was tethered to my boat. I was trying to learn from Paul and when he would send us out on our own I would try to practice with other students - but up would come Paul and everyone would eventually float away. Or he would be the first to "rescue" me. (when you flip over, you can signal that you have had enough and need to be flipped back over so another boat comes up and bumps you in the side and you hoist yourself up from their boat). He would speed across the pool to be the first to get there. It was awkward. This guy Jeremy and I were practicing and he was my "spotter" and zoom! in come Aaron, he did that so many times that Jeremy just left...Eventually throughout the night I began to feel like Aaron deemed himself my protector, or I was Aarons property. I would paddle to the other side of the pool, start talking and practicing with other people and up he would come and just start talking about what he was just doing without a thought to the fact that I was so not paying attention. The bad part is, the more insistent he became on getting my attention, the more I slipped into this passive aggressive thing of avoiding him, giving him short curt answers, and just trying to ignore him all together. Seriously! Why? Why can you just make a friend? "OH you ask - maybe I was misinterpreting his advances??" - OK, what do you think when he is constantly changing the subject to himself - his exploits of strength and endurance, his experiences on rivers....AND then he starts talking about his dates. The last date bailed because she decided to date someone else. He is willing to travel 5 hours to meet someone from a dating web site, he has another date lined up and is having fun dating. It really was very cartoonish and all I could picture was him standing off to the side posing in those muscle men poses with a big cheesy grin saying - look at me. OH! and it gets worse! Because I finally get my roll on! It took 2.75 hours but I got it! so the last 15 minutes I was rolling to my hearts content. Only there's Aaron - I could see it in his eyes, he wanted to hug me.....so instead he hugged my boat!! literally. saying congratulations and how me rolling really made his day! It was the best thing that had happened to HIM all day - was watching me get the roll. He had never had this much fun as he has had on his dates!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! screeching halt! excuse me?!?! I am so not on a date with you! THEN, (if you cant hear my voice I am working myself into a feverish pitch) didn't know this but there are 2 locker rooms in the pool area. the locker room that had my stuff closes at 9:30 and it was 10 by the time we got out of the pool...so my stuff was locked in a room that none of the lifeguards or instructors had keys to. They didn't know how to get into the locker room at all, some were suggesting I walk home (in my bare feet, swimming suit, wet head and its 33Fdegrees outside) or go and stay at a friends house for the night. And then Aaron gets involved. Trying to break down the door. Trying to offer me a ride home. The chaos of the next 30 minutes of me trying to get Aaron to go home, to leave me while I wait for maintenance with the lifeguards in a safe place "OH noooo!" he's got "nothing else to do"....seriously by this time I was walking away from him as he approaches to sit on the other side of the pool.
I guess what it is, that I don't like having to be rude or mean to someone just so they get the idea that I am not interested. I know that next week - next week I am just going to say it aint gonna happen. But I don't' know how to do that without being blunt...like really blunt. He seems like he would be a very cool person - except that he hates wolves....but still a cool person.
So, I have started kayaking again and this time its for white water. They have practice sessions in the pool every Wed. Good times; all equipment supplied etc. The practice sessions in the pool get you familiar with flipping your boat because you may be underwater and how to get back up without getting out of your boat. So last week I went for the first time and having virtually no clue - I am watching other people and taking advice from where I can get it. Most of the people in the pool seem to be with someone else working in pairs or what have you. Well this guy - call him Aaron (cuz thats his name) starts offering advice. So, I listen. I take his advice and ask him questions. I think nothing of it because I am so focused on learning what I can from whom ever. I am not only talking to him though, I have sort of befriended this lady who I am copying and chatting with but she has her husband as a partner... Eventually I realize Ive been "adopted" by Aaron who is now offering me his nose plug, his paddle, and even his boat. He tells me in a bragging sort of way about his job (cuz you make that kind of chit chat "what do you do?" bull) how he was a back country ranger and could hike 50miles a day with a 70lb pack blah blah and how he was in the military and is now a fire fighter. How he loves teaching children and especially high schoolers - to show the guys what its like to have a "real" job. I even meet his sister - she comes to the pool to visit. Somewhere in there I find out that he was supposed to be on a date but his date canceled. It really wasn't that bad and I left with a feeling of "hes a good chum, a bit awkward though and too eager". I honestly do not think I did anything to "bring it"...but this week. UGH!
This week, I show up and there he is, only this time he has brought an extra spray skirt just for me to try. He brought goggles and is still insisting I share his nose plug. The problem is that when he offers, I can't say no - because everyone around me is saying "OH yes, that's a good idea, you should take that". This week there was an actual instructor - well call him Paul. Paul overheard the offer of the spray skirt and just took it from Aaron and handed it to me and told me to get in boat. So, now I am wearing this guys skirt (and all I can think is this has touched his nipples) and on and off throughout the evening his goggles and his nose plug. I had brought my own nose plug, but it was crappy and kept slipping off. This guy stuck to me all night, it was like he was tethered to my boat. I was trying to learn from Paul and when he would send us out on our own I would try to practice with other students - but up would come Paul and everyone would eventually float away. Or he would be the first to "rescue" me. (when you flip over, you can signal that you have had enough and need to be flipped back over so another boat comes up and bumps you in the side and you hoist yourself up from their boat). He would speed across the pool to be the first to get there. It was awkward. This guy Jeremy and I were practicing and he was my "spotter" and zoom! in come Aaron, he did that so many times that Jeremy just left...Eventually throughout the night I began to feel like Aaron deemed himself my protector, or I was Aarons property. I would paddle to the other side of the pool, start talking and practicing with other people and up he would come and just start talking about what he was just doing without a thought to the fact that I was so not paying attention. The bad part is, the more insistent he became on getting my attention, the more I slipped into this passive aggressive thing of avoiding him, giving him short curt answers, and just trying to ignore him all together. Seriously! Why? Why can you just make a friend? "OH you ask - maybe I was misinterpreting his advances??" - OK, what do you think when he is constantly changing the subject to himself - his exploits of strength and endurance, his experiences on rivers....AND then he starts talking about his dates. The last date bailed because she decided to date someone else. He is willing to travel 5 hours to meet someone from a dating web site, he has another date lined up and is having fun dating. It really was very cartoonish and all I could picture was him standing off to the side posing in those muscle men poses with a big cheesy grin saying - look at me. OH! and it gets worse! Because I finally get my roll on! It took 2.75 hours but I got it! so the last 15 minutes I was rolling to my hearts content. Only there's Aaron - I could see it in his eyes, he wanted to hug me.....so instead he hugged my boat!! literally. saying congratulations and how me rolling really made his day! It was the best thing that had happened to HIM all day - was watching me get the roll. He had never had this much fun as he has had on his dates!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! screeching halt! excuse me?!?! I am so not on a date with you! THEN, (if you cant hear my voice I am working myself into a feverish pitch) didn't know this but there are 2 locker rooms in the pool area. the locker room that had my stuff closes at 9:30 and it was 10 by the time we got out of the pool...so my stuff was locked in a room that none of the lifeguards or instructors had keys to. They didn't know how to get into the locker room at all, some were suggesting I walk home (in my bare feet, swimming suit, wet head and its 33Fdegrees outside) or go and stay at a friends house for the night. And then Aaron gets involved. Trying to break down the door. Trying to offer me a ride home. The chaos of the next 30 minutes of me trying to get Aaron to go home, to leave me while I wait for maintenance with the lifeguards in a safe place "OH noooo!" he's got "nothing else to do"....seriously by this time I was walking away from him as he approaches to sit on the other side of the pool.
I guess what it is, that I don't like having to be rude or mean to someone just so they get the idea that I am not interested. I know that next week - next week I am just going to say it aint gonna happen. But I don't' know how to do that without being blunt...like really blunt. He seems like he would be a very cool person - except that he hates wolves....but still a cool person.
