Monday, September 27, 2010

5 new things Ive learned about myself - Random observations

When you put yourself into novel situation sometimes you begin to see yourself from...crap, this is to obtuse, let me begin again and say it plainly.  I find that each time I change my surroundings and put myself into completely foreign situations I get a new glimpse at what kind of person I am.  I become more aware of my inconsistencies and sometimes realize solidification of personal thoughts or philosophies on life.

Random people wanting their photo taken
1. I am not a photogenic person.  I rarely take good photos - and therefore hate being in front of the camera.  (OK hate is too strong of a word - dislike??)... I have noticed more and more here I will avoid cameras though I will not exactly run away either just cuz I think thats a little too silly. I notice this because random people will ask me to take their photo.  They do not know me, they do not know English, they do not ask for anything beyond looking at the display after their photos have been taken.  I do not often want my photo taken.  Thus the lack of me in pictures (as Cori observed from my Picasa album). If I happen to be in a photo - because I know I do not have a good smile nor a good "face" I will purposefully mess with the photo (see examples below).  My obvious favorites are to open my mouth as wide as it can be or stick out my tongue - WTH?  why do I do this?  If I thought I didn't take good photos before - this is not helping my case.  However, it does make for some entertaining pictures.

Unsuspecting Bibk
Seriously I am going to swallow his brain, maybe I can learn to unhinge my jaw like a snake...Ill work on it.

Needs work
 2. I am a late bloomer in many ways.  It took me for ever to come into my own style for feminine clothing - much to the chagrin of my mother.  I hated wearing skirts growing up - now I really like them, but only if they are knee length or longer and not frumpy.  Makeup and adornments were not that big of a deal to me and still aren't really, but here for instance eyeliner is something that is treated differently.  Its subtle, but the considerations about wearing it is different...different expectations.  There is this eye stuff the girls all wear here that is beautiful - and I can't recall the name (I am very bad at this) and at first I thought Divya was putting lipstick on her eyes - cuz thats what it looks like.  But it is this charcoal type stuff that you can get only in certain places like temples or something...eeh its not that great of a story cuz I don't know all the details. Regardless, I have taken to wearing eye liner of some sort and am trying this liquid stuff that Divya uses (even though she uses it for her Bindi and not her eyes).  I do not yet have the hang of liquid eye-liner and this stuff makes you look like a crack whore when you cry.  Lets just say you were cutting onions (for the many pork parties you have) tearing up is dangerous.

3. I really really really appreciate people who keep time.  I have lived and worked on native time in Alaska - but for some reason it really bothers me here.  When people say I will have it for you at X time or come meet me at X time or I will be there at X time...I fully expect them to be there/have it etc.  I think my expectations are higher because in AK this occurred when I was in the field or in a village...here it doesn't matter if you are in a village or at the embassy waiting for your 1pm appointment and finally getting in around 6pm.  Yeah - this doesn't EVER happen here.  I am also finding that I am slipping into this awful habit myself....and I am disturbed at this.

Chittu my big brother
Divya me Roshni
4. People in the US do not touch often enough.  (excuse me come again?)  There is something about a friendly gesture of holding hands or a hug or an arm draped over your shoulder that makes
me feel comforted.  Its strange - in my life in the past the people who pop out the most of "invading" my personal space are Harmony and Melody.  Maybe its because India is so crowded in the first place that you can't have a personal bubble?? Maybe its because there really isn't much to the concept of "Privacy"?  I realize how much I enjoy these subtle gestures.  I know that when I return to the US, I will have these different mannerisms that i have picked up here...like the ambiguous head nod that means Yes/No/As you wish/or I am indifferent.  Its a fine art in interpreting this gesture.  I also will occasionally ask a question with my hands - this twist of the wrist thing to say "what? what's it? where you going? what you doing?".....I am sure there are others.  Nonetheless, I will most likely be invading peoples personal space so be forewarned. One side note that is unrelated but not is I haven't picked up is the accent.  I can not yet mimic Apu - I seem to be in capable of pronouncing my Hindi correctly (according to Divya) so have extreme difficulty with the accent.  Unlike my Irish or Scottish or Australian or British accents...Dang it!
Sal
TP and Chetan
5. In Alaska I realized how much I like board games (roboralley rules!).  Particularly playing with others that are just as enthusiastic about the games as you are.  Sometimes people will play - but they don't LOVE it like you do, and the dedication is therefore lacking.  Here, I have come to realize how much I enjoy when people bust out into song.  I have no idea if this is common among all Indians or just the groups I seem to get attached to...but sitting in someones room, someone will start singing and others will join in.  It is a very pleasant feeling.  I don't care if they sound good or not - I can't sing and will only join in when my voice is drowned out by others.

Birthday traditions

Kaushik
So, I might have mentioned this before, but I wanted to retell the traditions that occur here with regards to celebrating someones birthday.  Most recently was Kaushik's birthday.  It starts at midnight the day you were born regardless of the time you came into the world.  So, there is cake and celebrations.  The birthday boy (in this case) not only has the people come to his room to celebrate but he will be on the phone almost constantly with people wishing him a happy birthday.  
Samuel's birthday
If you are asleep (like Samuel was on his birthday) you will be woken up and there will still be cake and celebrations (though shortened).  The party is more for everyone else rather than the birthday person - so, typically it is the responsibility of the birthday person to "host" the event.  To provide food and entertainment, (this is no different than our types of parties).  So, there was cake and chips and soda and lots of people came, milled around until the cake was cut.
Kaushik's cake - YUM!

Cutting of the Cake
So the birthday boy cuts the cake and then traditionally, they are to take a piece of cake and feed people.  I am a little confused as to who is supposed to be fed - like is it your closest friends? or is it everyone in the group? or is it just the people that happen to be close to you that you get a chance to feed before you are attacked?  It seems to vary by party and by personal effort.  Once you begin feeding people it is then their responsibility to smear cake on your face/head/body.  To me the cake could be a couple of things:
1. its a super powerful drug that turns the victim into a sugar crazed monster that must destroy all.  Thus taking its energies out on the cake and the delivery boy.
or
2. it is a gift of peace from the birthday boy who is basically saying "here - take this food from my fingers as an offering of thanks for being my friend for the past year".  It is then the response of the friend to say - "no, Thank you... here let me smear you with love"
or
3. A very tame food fight with a focal target.
Here - have some love
Basically, the birthday boy walks around feeding each person and getting more and more messy depending on the enthusiasm of the friends.  You could be covered in cake, chips, soda, water, what ever.  No birthday person leaves clean - wear not so nice clothing!!!

After the cake has been decimated - and really why bother cutting it when everyone just digs in with fingers???? it is still passed around and eaten in finger bites.
Birthday bumps for Kaushik

After cake come the birthday bumps.  (The cake has now given super powers of strength and agility).  They lift the birthday boy off the ground and proceed to kick him for as many years as he has been alive....OR if they respect you OR if you weigh too much - they just give you a couple of "bumps".  I prefer to think that when I got my bumps, it was out of respect they didn't do all 28 (wink) for me...not because I tower over 60% of the people here and am gargantuan in general.
milling around waiting for food
So, people then mill around for a bit and drift off back to their respective evenings (mostly sleep since it is now ~1am).  THEN, comes the real party.  Again, hosted by the birthday boy. 
 
Amit treated everyone to Lhasa
Dancing
Here you provide dinner of some sort (either take people out to dinner like Amit did or provide food like Kaushik did).  We had some very lovely chicken and excellent paneer.  It took a bit of persuasion but eventually people began dancing too.  It was a very lovely evening.

More dancing