Some assembly required

So, in order for me to attend the wedding I thought I would do it right and show up in a nice Sari. Considering I didn't have any nice clothing here anyway - why not??

First thing is - don't try it without supervision. OK not really...its just that it is kinda tricky to put on, particularly by yourself the first couple of times. That and its always nice to have someone dress you.

The most important thing is to have the blouse fit you properly. So, that needs to be stitched to fit your body. The blouse closes from the front and is meant to be super tight...this way you do not have to wear a bra. The blouse is also meant to be short. You can get them longer but not many people go for that look.

Shopping for a Sari was a lot harder than it looks. No shop will let you just "browse", there is always a clerk that will immediately begin pulling samples off the wall and unraveling them for you to look at. Then, if you do not like it 30 more will come from no where. They do not want you to leave the store. Though it wasn't a complete mistake I ended up shopping with Nadia (the Mongolian) and Eszter (the Hungarian) not the "experts" that are needed I suppose. But I needed to get one fast because it still had to be stitched before I left for the wedding. 

I had no idea what is proper dress for a wedding, how fancy, how beaded, how embroidered, what color, what material etc.  So, I went in saying, I like blue and green....unfortunately the guy who was helping me couldn't seem to register in his head I didn't want pink. "No, not pink...Oh But  mam you look good in pink...thank you but no".  The 2nd clerk who was helping some other lady kept pulling out very pretty sari's that I really liked, neutral and cool colors...so i kept craning my neck and pointing to what she was seeing and saying "like that - like that". He never seemed to get the hint. So since she was sitting so close to us, I would just reach over and pull over her discarded choices and inspect for myself. Eventually to make the sale and probably more because Im a foreigner...they are willing to "show" what it looks like to put one on. So, I would stand up and the men would dress me. It was hectic but I eventually found 3 that I really liked and then finally it was the price that established the winner. Funny thing is, now that I have one...I want another. Its addictive. Its fun and so colorful.

THEN I found out there was way more to this darn dress than wrapping 6 meters of cloth around your body. You have to have an under skirt thing, which then you also have to buy rope separately - because it doesn't come with a stringed waist. This explained so much. I would see these kids and men selling lots and lots of what looked to be thick shoe string - and I thought "God these Indians must go through a lot of shoe laces - why so much? And why are they only targeting women? especially since most women wear sandals???" NOW I know why!  Besides the petticoat, you also need to attach what is call the "fall" which is weight to put along the border of the cloth to keep it weighted down a little. Then there is this "finishing" the edging. Some come finished, but others the end of the cloth isn't finished and you have to get that stitched.                                                     

THEN you have to learn how to make the pleats properly in the front and of course have it hang at the right length. So, if you are wearing shoes with a heel you better make sure to wear those while dressing. What was even more interesting was the interest taken by various people in my sari pick. I can understand the girls being excited for me - though many older married women wear sari's on a daily basis, it is almost like a prom dress or fancy fancy dress for the younger girls to buy and wear. It only becomes daily wear after you get married. So, because of that, every girl wanted to see what I had got even if they didn't like it (ahem Divya!)...but what struck me as odd was the intense interest from some of the guys. It was if I needed their approval. It was very much brotherly love/advice, but still odd. I felt a little like a car getting appraised.  Like being inspected to make sure I had the proper paint job and shocks or something.  One guy even offered at one point to go with me.  I declined and then he said, well you would look very good in dark green that should be the color you get.  Proceeded to search for examples of coloring around the room so I would know what "dark green" looked like.  I don't imagine my brother taking much interest in a dress I buy. He would look and say the appropriate complements or criticisms maybe one or two words of "ooh thats nice" or "uh-huh" but beyond that would not care nor care about my accessories (which by the way, you have to have!!).   So, after the wedding I realized 1. I probably did not buy the right outfit.  It was too dark in color for a "spring" wedding.  2. Do not buy silk (not that I did, but still its a lesson everyone needs to know) and then go to a function where the outside air temp is >42 C.  3. Jewelry does not have to match 4. Gold, Red, Gold, Red, Gold, Red are the appropriate colors to wear 5. After 30 years I still need help picking out clothing 6.When shopping always bring friends VERY patient friends....or an Indian guy 7. Do not feel guilty when at the end of shopping there is a pile of 40 sari's and you are only buying 1.  8. Dehradun is not the place to shop for a sari 9. I wish we americans decorated ourselves as much as the Indian women do...but only sometimes.  10. Indian women have some magical powder stuff that they put on their faces so they do not sweat and shine - wish I had some of that...and wish I had brought make-up in the first place...

The only thing I felt was missing is I did not have the opportunity to do mendhi before the wedding.  I guess I will just have to go into the market and get it done for fun.