Thursday, October 8, 2009

mam - You have sex?

Today was my train ride to Dehra dun. The taxi came 30 minutes earlier than scheduled (it came at 5:20 instead of 5:50am), so waking up was a bit of a haze filled with frantic thoughts of oversleeping and missing my train, putting shoes on before pants type of things. The train station is hyped up to be this chaotic mess and a very "dangerous" place to be robbed and taken advantage of. Now that it is over, there isn't a lot of difference between the train station here and one in Mexico or even Sweden. Just a lot of families trying to get somewhere. The more I looked around the less scary it was and the sillier I felt for giving into the hype. It is overwhelming at first YES. But if you get the chance to take a breath (which is difficult) then it isn't as bad.
Anyway, I had arranged that the taxi driver would negotiate payment with a porter to help me get my bag to the station. The traffic wasn't bad until you got close to the station. There were street carts with little flood lights and lots of steaming pots. A porter claimed our car even before we stopped. The driver negotiated a price for me and he was obviously agitated because 2 porters were claiming that they needed to both be paid to help carry such a heavy bag. My mistake I realize. I had gotten out and indicated that it was heavy, as well as the ticket from the airlines on it saying HEAVY. Later, I saw porters with 2 or 3 suitcases on their heads as well as carrying one, so NEVER indicate your bag is too heavy....it will only cost you more.

During the walk to my station (platform #16 on the otherside of the station) the porter strikes up a conversation asking if I have any kids. In his broken english he asks if I am married. Not wanting to have any problems I hope to stave him off by answering yes. I am married, but no kids. He is shocked I have no kids. He has 2 kids. He also asks my age. I remember reading in the lonely planet guide as well as the Fulbright handbook that says Indians may ask questions that we would normally consider rude but are not rude to them...like how much money do you make....I keep this in mind as I politely answer his questions. His engilsh is very poor.

We arrive at my platform and he then tries to negotiate more $$ to help me load my luggage onto the train. I tell him that this was included in the price, but he says that this is 1 hour wait which will cost more. I do not argue because this is true and I feel uncomfortable making someone wait with me for 1 hour. I tell him I can manage and he then starts to haggle with me insisting I need help, and I insist I do not. Finally he says "OK, I will help you no charge. I wait". I say OK thinking this is an odd change of events. We sit on the curbe and begin to wait (it is just now 5:50 and my train comes at 6:50).

He strikes up a conversation again, "Mam - I have 2 children and sex 2 times. I have sex 3 times, 1 night". I am thinking this is an odd coversation with him telling me his prowis with his 22 year old wife. I ask how old his children are (5 and 3). He asks me how many sex I have. Before I can answer he reiterates he has sex 3 times 1 night, he is 25 years old. I congratulate him - "Oh thats good". He asks again if I have sex. I say "with my husband." He asks again if I have children and I say no. He is again suprised by this. I look away hoping to end the conversation. He asks again "do you have sex - how many times?" For some reason I feel the need to defend my own prowis and say "3 - no 4 times" He is suprised and repeats questioning "4 times?" He then says "I has sex 3 times." I look away.

He taps my shoulder - "mam you understand this sex?" I say "yes", confused at the conversation. I look away again. He taps me again - "mam, how many times you have sex?"..."you have sex in India?" I say "no-no sex in India. Only sex with husband". He asks "how many times?" Somewhere something clicks in my brain and I ask him "sex with you?" His eyes light up and he smiles really big "YES!" as if finally getting through to me. HOLY CRAP this entire conversation has been asking me how many times I would like to have sex with him. 3 or 4!?! what was I thinking!!

I reply shocked wth an emphatic "NO! no no no sex. Only sex with my husband" (a lot of good this lie did me). He asks "how old husband? is he young?" I say "yes, 27." He indicates to himself "25 - sex 2 times 2 children" and makes a fist as if to indicate me hung like bull. I say no no sex and look away.

After a few minutes he says "mam - I help you with bag on train". I say yes. He asks sex? I say no. He repeats to me sex only with husband? I repeat "yes only with husband". He resales himself "strong only 25" and makes the fist gesture again. He says he will return to load bag and indicates I should wait right there for him. I am releaved he is indicating he is leaving - then somewhat offended...The only reason he stayed was to offer sex and since I turned him down he is leaving!

Typical man!

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